buKit

So my kids forced me to do it. They wanted mp3 players for Christmas so I sprung for the smallest, cheapest iPod shuffles for Julia and Emma. I didn’t realize until they arrive just how insanely small they were and instantly said to lyn:

“They’ll loose these in days.”

Anyway.

So the next conundrum. I actually had to fill the thing with music. I conceded and with Lyn’s help loaded it with some of the stuff they listen to on the radio and have expressed interest in. I took my opportunity as parental role model though to pad it with some stuff I thought had more ‘substance’ – some of which they already like – in hopes that it would help keep them from straying too far over to the ‘lite pop’ side. I wanted to fill it with a bunch of other stuff, but Lyn smartly reminded me that they don’t have 8 hours at work to kill everyday to listen to music and their attention spans are 8-10 songs tops.

So. Submitted for your perusal, my intro playlist for the youngin’s.

Gee. Can you tell which ones were my picks?

So I trashed my knee. Not that one*. The OTHER one. The one I didn’t trash 15 years ago. That’s news. It folded the other night when I was playing hockey. It did make a very interesting ‘pop’ as it did so. So that sucks. It seems to be not as bad as I initially thought, as 4 days later I’m putting weight on it and walking on it. Makes me kind of glad I didn’t take the ER Doc’s advice and just have it removed. Damn government budget cuts, they’re looking to save a buck anywhere they can.

So now I’m landlocked for what is probably going to be a considerable amount of time. Without even adult beverage to wallow in. Can one wallow in coffee? Sorta seems oxymoron-ish.

Snowpocalypse did turn out to be a dusting too. Pshaw.

Would you like some graphic design done? Yah? You would? Well that doesn’t surprise me because ironically, I have SO MUCH freaking freelance going down right now, you’ll have to take a number. Say, 48. 48 will get you in somewhere in the New Year. I’m not complaining – I’m venting. There’s a difference.

Really though, if you would like to discuss your project [bats eyelashes] I’d love to hear from you, just drop me a line, kay? Thumbs up! High five!

Some of you may not know, but Christmas is coming. You may notice a bit more traffic at the stores. A bit. Everyone’s very courteous though. Very.

I think I’m going to create like a ‘shopping hyperbaric chamber’ for all the online shoppers. They’re missing out on the sensory experience that is Christmas shopping in it’s truest, raw form. You could do your online shopping from inside the chamber which would be programmed to randomly introduce various smells, have an articulated arm that could poke/push/punch you at various times and there would be speakers filled with a combination of christmas music, inane conversation about the weather and screaming children. I’m taking orders now. The deluxe model will actually spill stuff on you too.

Happy psychotic consumer frenzy leading up to the Holidays.

“soon i discovered that this rock thing was true
jerry lee lewis was the devil
jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden, i found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that i could do
was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long”
-Ministry, Jesus Built my Hotrod

*Tore 2 and a half ligaments in my left knee many years back inline skating on a half pipe. Crazy days of jumping cars and shit. Who was that insane bastard? I don’t even ‘jump’ off the couch now. There. You’ve now been brought ‘up to speed’.

Waiting for the snowpocalypse to come. Will probably end up being a dusting. And they say it’s supposed to turn to rain. Ew.

Hey everyone.

So I’ve started this all up again. What is it, round #7 now?

I’ve moved hosting to wordpress.com thinking that if I can’t mess with the backend/templates/bells and whistles as much, maybe I’ll actually concentrate more on writing posts/content and won’t feel so compelled to tweak as often. Of course it’s entirely possible I’m full of shit.

I will no doubt be updating on a haphazard and sporadic basis. Should you choose to stay in tune with my ‘chi’ your best bet is prolly to subscribe to the feed so you’re pinged when I post up fresh drivel.

That said, in the world of me now, the news is tomorrow I’m going to Halifax for the Matthew Good show and I’ll be staying with my buddy Tyler there. Saturday he’s lined up some guys to jam (I’ve so dubbed us Blind Lemon Tdog and the Rainmakers) where he works and we’ve elected to try and play most, if not all of The Cult’s seminal ‘Electric’. Tyler tells me he’s lined up a trombone player. [?] Should be interesting at the very least if not downright comical.

Will be fun and a bit challenging if only because I usually get pretty smashed at these ‘jam’ type things (it’s rock-n-roll, right?), so now that I’ve given that up (see post below, if you didn’t on Facebook), I’ll be woefully cognizant of all my errors and poor timekeeping. I’m sure audio will be leaked to the internet despite all the best efforts of our label.

I’m gonna take the laptop and maybe get some posts in from there detailing hijinx if I’m so inclined.

Owt.

Hey man, that was great, thanks for picking up that round. What a killer time we had.

Unfortunately, after you bailed because you had to be up early the next day, I stayed at the bar and drank with those couple of people we met there. Then, when they left, I drank until the bar closed. Alone. Then I got in the car and drove home – quite obviously something I shouldn’t have done – and when I got home, I checked to see what we had around the house to drink.

I’m embarrassed to admit how many times this little scenario has played out in my lifetime. How many times I’ve woken up in the morning not being able to remember how I got home or who I insulted/offended beforehand. I’ve well exceeded my limit of ‘second chances’ and ‘close calls’. It’s time to stop now. Really, the clock is ticking and at this rate, it’s not a question of ‘if’ my luck will run out, but ‘when’.

Some of you will remember, ’round this time last year, I quit drinking. Well, I did, for 6 months, then had a touch here and there. Started thinking I could do so in moderation, but over the past few months it’s become readily apparent to me that I can’t.

I don’t want it to get weird with us. I know in the past I’ve always felt weird and didn’t know how to act around people when they told me they didn’t drink or had quit. Probably partly in due to the fact that it reminded me that I had a problem myself.

“Oh. Uh. Sorry.” Hides beer behind back. Retreats. Communication tapers off, never to be heard from again.

Honestly, it’s been so long that it’s hard for me to even interact without alcohol. Fact of the matter is, it freaks me right the fuck out to think about going anywhere with a group of people without it. And go to a bar and not order a drink? Forget it. Not happening man.

Some of you I’ve been drinking with so long, it’s second nature. It’s intrinsic. It will be weird no matter what, but it’s gotta happen.

I have to re-learn how to interact with people without it and that’s gonna take me some time. Be patient with me while I straighten my shit out. It will mean less nights out for me – and/or shorter ones, or bouts of moody weirdness, but I’ll get it.

So that’s it boys and girls, it was fun while it lasted. I’m tired of the guilt and the loneliness and the shame. I’m tired of being ‘owned’ by it and living in fear of when the next shoe will drop.

I was talking with Lyn about it and she says to me “It’s a choice, you know. A choice you have to make.”

“It’s a disease, too.” I said.

“Yes. But even people with the disease still have to make the choice.”

So I’ll be making that choice. Now, tomorrow, all the time, for the rest of my time. I realize now the meaning of it. That you’re never really ‘cured’ – that’s where I made my mistake before. From here on out I’m a recovering alcoholic – that’s what it will mean to get up in one piece every day and feel good about myself.

So this Thanksgiving that’s what I’m thankful for – I made it out alive – with my conscience semi-intact – when so many haven’t. My family and friends are still in one piece and I get to move forward with their love and support. I’m lucky to have that.

So next time you see me you don’t be afraid to ask me how it’s going. I’ll probably tell you it’s rough sometimes – but that’s alright, what’s important is that it IS going. It’s a part of who I am now and it will always be.

You don’t have to hide your beer – just buy me a soda.

“It’s not you, it’s me. I think we should just be friends.”

Hi. I’m Kent. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve been sober for 5 days.