Category Archives: Narrative

#437 in a seemingly never-ending series

Here’s one. If I’m waiting in a line of stop-and-go traffic and you’re waiting to merge in, and instead of waiting your turn, you barge in and almost cause an accident, don’t wave to me with the ‘Thanks for letting me in’ wave – cause I didn’t. You just barged in.

And your wave – it’s half-assed – you don’t even look at me. Just sorta flail your hand around while you’re looking the other direction. The finger would actually be more appropriate, because really, that’s what you’re thinking.

“Fuck this guy. I need to get where I’m going and everything I’ve got going on is definitely more important that what he’s going on.”

I didn’t let you in. Don’t fucking insult me on top of almost running into me. You don’t get to use the ‘wave’. That’s reserved for people who can conduct themselves politely and responsibly in society. You don’t get to use that and somehow clear your conscience. Activity like this totally screws your karma – and I know you’ve been doing that for some time now.

Just continue about your day, confident in the knowledge that you’re a total asshole.

Oh. And I also put a hex on you.

Had a ton of important things I should have done tonight. Instead I finished my LinkedIn profile, somehow thinking that this would make work magically appear at my doorstep. I even sent out some recommendations to buds to try and spread some love – and work on my karma?. Can you still accrue karma if the endeavour is really selfish in nature? Isn’t that anti-karma? Where’s my damn karma manual? Kids probably moved it.

I have a bunch of pictures to upload tomorrow to the flickr page – can’t do it through the tin-can-and-string connection here at the house.

We had our house audit done. The verdict: the house isn’t really a house, it’s only rated a ‘tent’. There was so much air coming in my fireplaces that the guy thought the dampers were open. When he found out they weren’t, he sort of looked dumbfounded and mumbled, “Uh. Ok….”

So we were getting new stove inserts for both the fireplaces anyway, so that was a done deal. He also told me that I needed pretty much all new doors and windows and about another 12″ of insulation in the attic. Good times. So we’ve got 18 months to get as much as we can done then fill out a bunch of paperwork and apply to get an amount of money back from the fed/provincial gov’ts depending on what we do.

On to other news. I won’t be coming to visit any of you in the next 18 months.

The new site is done. Buy a book, help feed the kids.

One thing I want you to do, you with kids. Take ’em out and listen to some music with them. I listen to music all the time with my kids. Not just kid music either. Both the girls dig the Foo Fighters (all right, it’s just the acoustic second disc of In Your Honour, but still), Feist, James Blunt, Francis Cabrel, the Beatles. Julia likes some old David Bowie and a Zeppelin tune or two and Emma’s a fan of Lisa Loeb. They know all the words and it always tickles me when they ask to hear something or they’re walking through the yard singing a tune at the top of their lungs without a care in the world.

My point is that if we don’t implant in kids the important of music, I think they’ll fast relegate it to another disposable commodity – especially with .99 downloads all the rage. There’s more to it than that. Music can -in one way or another – save us all.

No one feels more alone than the children of a dying breed
You never feel at home when you’re just another mouth to feed
I wanna live in geological time
Because I’m still in my biological prime

If nobody listens, then who’s gonna hear?
If nobody listens, will we disappear?

You flip a man a quarter playing songs on his guitar
You’re on a street corner, feeling like a patron of the arts
And now the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll
I said the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll

If nobody listens, then who’s gonna hear?
If nobody listens, will we disappear?

I just don’t understand why the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll
I said the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll
They’re always on the phone and they always gotta have control
And now the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll

The golden years are under attack (we’re taking them back, we’re taking them back)
The golden years are under attack (we’re taking them back, we’re taking them back)
Looking for an original voice
But the beaten path leaves little choice
The melody that you thought you found
Reveals that she’s been sleeping around

We were apostles
They were the high priests
We lived the hustle
The keepers of the backbeat

We’re under pressure to reconcile
Our point of view with contemporary style

It used to be that the kids were the ones who knew how to get off
It was a yell from the swamp, now it’s only coming out as a cough
I can’t sell my songs so I’m gonna have to give them away
I can’t sell myself since my hair started turning to grey

If nobody listens, then who’s gonna hear?
If nobody listens, will we disappear?

I just don’t understand why the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll
I said the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll
The high priests are calling all disciples back to the fold
Because the kids don’t know how to dance to rock and roll

-Sam Roberts, Them Kids

The picture above says volumes about what it’s like at my house. Only when you have kids of a small age can you walk around a corner to find this and no one in sight. I think I’m just a tenant here, someone else must be in charge.

Not so angry any more. Not really any time for it. Got emails for that one from expected – and unexpected sources. Thanks to all for the moral support. You can cut it out now. No more goofy dancing animal ‘feel better’ e-cards. I wanna puke.

Huge push on at work to get the big website done…it’s now 2 months overdue with the Fall book season looming. It’s turned out to be a much larger endeavour than anyone involved thought. Just about the best thing to come out of it is my discovery of The Gaslight Anthem via Ryan, the guy who’s coding the whole site, and consequently, probably chewing asprin by the handful. When the things actually done, I’ll post a link here. I’ve yet to determine how I will celebrate it’s successful launch. I feel it defintely deserves controlled substances of some kind.

When I checked in tonite, I’ve got 156 comments awaiting moderation. Safe money is that there’s 156 comments trying to sell me either porn or male enhancement items, but if by some chance you’re in there, sorry, I haven’t checked the comments lately and I won’t tonite on my stupid slow dialup, cause I’d like to get to sleep at some point. I’ll try to remember tomorra.

Freelance is ramping up a bit again. Dollars is good. I’m all about the benjamins. Julia and Emma never put gas in the car when they use it and it’s a drag filling that thing up.

Colin’s almost walking now. He pushes everything around, which is nice. Nothing like stumbling through the minefield of toys in the middle of the night to take a leak. He takes it real personal when you step on one in the night too, he wakes up hollering which doesn’t really improve things any.

Awhile back I had a bit of fun gutting a portion of my basement. Mmmmm, yummy mold growing in the walls on the drywall. Highly recommended for the respiratory system of the buildings occupants. We’ve embarked on quite a few home improvement projects – cause we don’t have enough to do as it is. There’s 3 on the go now…the basement, the terraced rock flowerbed in the back and the bathroom that’s been about 97% done for months but needs a bit to be finished. If I finish it though, that will leave Lyn nothing to hassle me about, so I can’t very well leave her empty handed.

We’re also getting a house energy audit. Here in Canada, a guy certified by the government will come to your house, tell you just how screwed up and inefficient it is, then you have 18 months to fix as much as you can, and they’ll reimburse you a percentage of your costs based on what you get done. My guess is he’ll look at this house and just say I’d be better off starting from scratch – or wait – no, I take that back. I’m sure the dog kennel can stay.