Marketing.

After re-reading my last post, I’ve been brainstorming trying to come up with some new ‘taglines’ when marketing my blog ’round the world.

So far, candidates include:

“New! With guaranteed happy thoughts in every bite!”

“The buKitzone, now Prozac-fortified!”

“Improved – Now with Dubya Power!”

“Removes stains from all surfaces AND tastes great!”

Feel free to submit yours.

I’ll take a bunch more of those please….

So this past Sunday was a pretty good day.

This will make all you naysayers smile.

Of course it was Mother’s Day, so I got up with the kiddies and let Lyn snooze. That’s ok, Saturday morning breakfast time is pretty good kid time if you can get it. The kids are always goofy and happy to see Dad. We discussed heavy issues like spaceships and whether or not fruit can see things. Very Socratic. I had fun AND scored points with the boss at the same time – can’t complain there.

When Lyn got up, we packed everyone in the car and headed to Man-Mecca, Home Depot. I needed manly things to be the hero around the house, namely some wood glue to fix toys and a desk drawer (more points) and the bonus was I got to get a wire brush to clean a bike frame I’m painting. The wife and kids like to go to the Home Depot as well – they go and look at all the flowers in the garden center (more points!).

On the way home we hit the grocery store to get stuff to make the sauce for the entire side of beef (ribs) I planned on barbequeing later in the afternoon.

We got home. Fed the kids lunch. Sent them up for a nap. Then I was out.

I’m not sure how it happened, but a few days earlier, Lyn had said that if I wanted to I could go for a mountain bike ride before dinner on Sunday. After checking to make sure I was in the right house – and even reminding her that Sunday was indeed Mother’s Day – she still said it was cool. This, quite obviously, is why I married her.

Anyway, so I got my ride on. 2 full hours of me and the woods. I rode. I fell down. I rode some more. I fell down again, this time in mud. Wheeeeee! I sat and looked at the scenery. Then I went home.

The kids were up and ready to go. I had no time to waste. My friend John was to arrive in an hour to partake in our beef ribs and corn on the cob feast. We like to do it that way at our house, ’cause then, you get all the stuff stuck in your teeth in one night – sort of a ‘two birds with one stone’ kind of thing. I suggested we all just eat on a big tarp in the basement and then we could just turn on a sprinkler afterwards. Lyn wasn’t amused and suggested that guests probably wouldn’t be either. I dunno, I’ve never been to a party like that – what’s the sense of being predictable? I knew it was a fight I wouldn’t win so I surrendered.

Anyhow. BBQ preparations began. John arrived. He brought me a new $80 bike seat that he got for $15 from the shop he worked at. Schwag is good. I paid him $20 for it without hesitation. Just helping the ‘single guy’ cause. We bullshitted by the ‘Q’ and drank beer – well actually, I drank the beer, he drank coke, ’cause that’s just how he is. The kids filled the birdbath in the back yard with pine needles. I let them, as the were fairly quiet about it. At the time I had every intention of going out later and taking all the needles out, since it’s our neighbours birdbath, but as I just typed this, I realize – I never did. Sorry Kathy.

The ribs cooked. We ate and had big people conversation. The kids of course wanted nothing to do with us and actually played pretty good in the living room.

For dessert we had little mini-chocolate chip cookies. The kids were interested in those. After a while, John had to take off. It was late in the evening and soon we had to get the kids to bed.

I paused to reflect on the day:

I was exhausted.

I had a slight buzz.

I had aches in my body in various places, but the good kind of aches, because you know where they came from and had fun gettin’ them.
Most of the surface area of my body was covered with any combination of the following:
a. dirt and/or caked mud (should that be 2 separate things?)
b. sweat
c. rib sauce
d. butter
e. dog drool
f. all of the above

When I got home from my ride I had changed into my trusty ‘Dad’ t-shirt, my fitted hat, and my favorite cargo shorts – you guessed it – SANS underwear. ‘Nuff said. I was – in a word – ‘comfy’.

And didn’t the summer breeze rolling in from the open windows feel so nice as I lounged on the couch and savored the last of my beer.

More days like this please.

“Today was a pretty good day”, I said to Lyn as I flopped down next to her on the bed.

“Ew. You are so getting dried mud everywhere.” She replied. “You are not getting in this bed ’til you take a bath.”

“I know, I know.” I said. “I’m going….”

In the back of my mind though, a little voice said:

“Damn! Almost!”

Time to move on.

I think some folks misunderstand me sometimes.

What I was trying to point out in my last post – perhaps I did a bad job – is that I’m trying to excercize my right to ride my bike, and do something good for my planet, myself, set a good example for my kids – and these people get mad at me.

Cause I’m in the way. Cause they can’t get to their pilates class fast enough.

Instead of the ‘good for that guy’ or ‘I should do that to’, it’s all about ‘get out of my way, you’re a nuisance.’

I am not the problem. They and their adherence to one and only one line of thinking are the problem.

I won’t apologize for being negative or for what I write. Sometimes perhaps the sarcasm doesn’t come through well, and sometimes, well…I’m just pissed off and negative. Truth be told, I write alot more than what’s in this blog – I just don’t post alot of it because frankly I don’t want the comments about it.

I just try and call it how I see it.

The one thing that I’ve noticed that no one else seems to have picked up on, is the shift in my outlook when I came back here to the (‘gasp’, dare I say it? ‘States’.)

There is something fundamentally wrong with people here. I’m sure I’ll get the comments on ‘how we all aren’t bad’ or ‘a few bad eggs doesn’t make everyone lousy’ or even that I’m unpatriotic – Not the case at all. All I know is that down here (I say this in juxtopositon to Canada, the Evil neighbour to the north) there is a culture and society that in my mind perpetuates some really bad ideas…and everyone seems to be buying in, because CNN ran a segment on ‘How America is #1, we’re ok.’ I’m just so tired of looking around and seeing people led and herded. Think, damn you, think. We can do better.

My friend Andy will tell me that down in Texas, ‘the people are much nicer’, he says, ‘you wouldn’t believe it’. Perhaps this is true. From what I hear they all live in clouds of noxious gas though… a tradeoff? Polite neighbours for a mysterious lung disease? Perhaps these are the questions of our time. I’m sure there are places out there that people are not so much insane, for lack of a better word.

I’m sure there’s screwed up people everywhere, including Canada. In fact, I could name a few up there right now. I can only comment on the people I come into contact with, somewhat limited to my few locales, I know.

You know what really bums me out? People that keep telling me I’m negative. I’m fine. I think alot of people have the same thoughts and ideas that I do – I’ve just decided to post them here, so now everyone can see them and (apparently) judge them. That and the fact that my state of mind seems to incite more response than what it is I’m actually saying.

Bah. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. At least for a little while longer. You’ve got yours, I’ve got mine. I guess if I’m going to post my stuff up here, I can’t expect people not ot comment, and I certainly can’t expect to agree with everyone’s comments. It would be hypocritical of me to put this all up here and then complain when someone posts a comment I don’t dig.

That being said, I’m perfectly happy. My life has many challenges, but whose doesn’t? I love my wife and my kids and things are pretty great. My kids show me that there is hope to turn it around – and even though I’m grumpy somtimes, they’re my inspiration to try and be a better person. To me, part of that means being true to myself, even if some people don’t get it, or it comes across wrong. At least I’ve tried. Part of the limitations of this blog is that it’s one sided – it’s only a portion of the things going on with me – you don’t see the living room floor dad/kid tickle sessions here – and as I said before, maybe I’m keeping it for myslef. Go tickle your own kids (or significant other, or dog, or yourself) instead of hoping to read about me tickling mine.

Don’t worry about me – I’m just fine – the freakshow runs every day here and there’s always an empty seat.

Stay tuned – and honestly, thanks for reading (and commenting).