Tales of cookies and procrastination.

Well here we are again with another of my stimulating reports. Where to start. Oh yeah, how about my dad is a slacker and has taken way too long to get new eye candy of yours truly up on this site. I try to explain to him that my public and my fans demand fresh content but my complaints fall on deaf ears. I swear, you’d think I was talking gibberish or something. Anyway, at least there are new pictures up, although now, my look is totally different since I fired my last stylist and hired a new one…check back for pics of my new makeover soon.

I am happy to report that I can now sit up unsupported all by myself. I can’t tell you how much of a relief this is since it means I don’t have to have all those ‘big people’ hanging around me all the time, man do they get old, always crowding my creative space and wrecking my vibe. I’ve also decided that I also kind of like this thin they call standing, although I haven’t soloed yet, I still need a spotter. The other thing that puzzles me is after you’re ‘standing’ what are you supposed to do then? Seems like a waste of time to me, but it’s still fun.

I have also decided that I do like the big brown fuzzy thing that runs around alot, now HE is cool. I make sure that I let everyone know that I think he is cool in the usual fashion, that being loud squeals and lots of laughing, but then they just pay attention to me. What, am I on Mars or something? Not me! HE’s the cool one! Go get HIM and bring him back-and let me get a handfull of that soft stuff he’s got all over him while you’re at it!

Speaking of soft stuff, I’ve been eating alot of it these days. I don’t know what these people are thinking by grinding perfectly good food into mush, My dad says that broccolli tastes just as bad even in paste form, but it all tastes the same to me-AND I JUST WANT MORE OF IT! Only problem is now I got this thing they keep calling a ‘tooth’ growing out of my mouth. Is this cancerous? Shouldn’t we have this thing looked at? I mean, IT’S GROWING OUT OF MY MOUTH for crying out loud! Can that be normal? Not to mention the fact that sometimes it just plain hurts so bad that I’d pretty much chew on anything to make it feel better, even WHOLE broccolli. Sometimes though, they give me these cool things, ‘cookies’, and those are great, until I try and eat too big a piece and I choke, but what do they expect, they didn’t give me anything to cut it with and I have a hard enough time aiming the thing at my mouth as it is!

Ah it’s alright though, as long as I can share my misery with mom and dad, that makes it all better. Sometimes they even put this stuff in my mouth that makes it all tingly, and then it feels like my whole chin just plain dropped off my face…now that is some good stuff. It works good on the ‘tooth’ but the only problem is, try keeping your saliva in your mouth with no chin…I’m soaking wet half the time and they can’t keep the bibs coming fast enough. I think I need a maid or a valet or something. Can’t I get a ‘personal assistant’ like those stars in Hollywood? I bet all the crazy talking animals I see on the big picture box in the living room have personal assistants. Say, that reminds me, how come OUR big brown fuzzy thing never talks?

If you would like to apply to be my personal assistant, email me your resume, some references and either a few cookies or a cup of applesauce.

Well, that’s about it for now. Take it easy-and remember, it’s not ‘babies’-we prefer the term ‘tiny drooling adults’. Hey, that would make a pretty cool band name.

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