And the stockings were hung out the window with care…

So I trashed my knee. Not that one*. The OTHER one. The one I didn’t trash 15 years ago. That’s news. It folded the other night when I was playing hockey. It did make a very interesting ‘pop’ as it did so. So that sucks. It seems to be not as bad as I initially thought, as 4 days later I’m putting weight on it and walking on it. Makes me kind of glad I didn’t take the ER Doc’s advice and just have it removed. Damn government budget cuts, they’re looking to save a buck anywhere they can.

So now I’m landlocked for what is probably going to be a considerable amount of time. Without even adult beverage to wallow in. Can one wallow in coffee? Sorta seems oxymoron-ish.

Snowpocalypse did turn out to be a dusting too. Pshaw.

Would you like some graphic design done? Yah? You would? Well that doesn’t surprise me because ironically, I have SO MUCH freaking freelance going down right now, you’ll have to take a number. Say, 48. 48 will get you in somewhere in the New Year. I’m not complaining – I’m venting. There’s a difference.

Really though, if you would like to discuss your project [bats eyelashes] I’d love to hear from you, just drop me a line, kay? Thumbs up! High five!

Some of you may not know, but Christmas is coming. You may notice a bit more traffic at the stores. A bit. Everyone’s very courteous though. Very.

I think I’m going to create like a ‘shopping hyperbaric chamber’ for all the online shoppers. They’re missing out on the sensory experience that is Christmas shopping in it’s truest, raw form. You could do your online shopping from inside the chamber which would be programmed to randomly introduce various smells, have an articulated arm that could poke/push/punch you at various times and there would be speakers filled with a combination of christmas music, inane conversation about the weather and screaming children. I’m taking orders now. The deluxe model will actually spill stuff on you too.

Happy psychotic consumer frenzy leading up to the Holidays.

“soon i discovered that this rock thing was true
jerry lee lewis was the devil
jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden, i found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that i could do
was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long”
-Ministry, Jesus Built my Hotrod

*Tore 2 and a half ligaments in my left knee many years back inline skating on a half pipe. Crazy days of jumping cars and shit. Who was that insane bastard? I don’t even ‘jump’ off the couch now. There. You’ve now been brought ‘up to speed’.