The last two days have sucked on the bike. Really suffering.
The legs are filled with lead. I must have completely run out of carbs.
Like wounded children, I hear the all the Hostess cupcakes screaming at me as I pass every 7-Eleven on the ride.
I am in the ‘pastry’ ring of hell.
Day 12 in.
As luck woud have it, coinciding with the Tour of Hope activities I am also in the midst of getting yearly medical checkups and such. Had a physical and the associated probings and needle picks. It was determined that I needed to lower my cholesterol a tad. This would turn out to work with the plan – more on that later.
I went yesterday to have an abdominal ultrasound to check on the insides as I have been having bouts of bad indigestion, no doubt due to my diet that consists primarily of fried batter with sides of fried stuff. The insides checked out ok, confirming what I basically knew anyway – I should probably start eating vegetables and fruits.
Lyn’s doc has told her that she needs to lose some weight to help with her condition as well and 2 weeks ago suggested the South Beach Diet. So we set Aug. 1 as ‘D’ day.
As I have said in a previous post, she’s the team nutrionist so I have put her in charge of the diet. I just eat what I’m told. From what I can discern, the 1st two weeks we can basically eat green vegetables and water. This looks much nicer in the pictures in the book. Plates full of steamy veggies on a colorfully set table, presumably in ‘South Beach’ where the skinny elite frolic. What fun. Hasn’t ‘South Beach’ been pummeled by hurricanes lately? There must be a message there.
I love all of you my readers, but at this moment I’d trade any one of you for a DQ Blizzard.
The truth hurts.
Lyn keeps trying to get me to drink V8. She has no idea what she has gotten herself into.
Day six into preparations and a few notes.
First off, much to the team’s chagrin, the last three days here in the DC area have been 102, 108 and 98 degrees respectively. Ugh. Africa hot. It’s not so much as ‘riding’ through the air as it is ‘swimming’ through it. The upside is you don’t have to carry as much water on the bike, you can merely open your mouth to have a drink.
“It’s not the heat so much as the humidity.” Actually it’s both.
On the ride home from work yesterday I was forced off the road by a car and had to ditch into a combination of gravel/concrete sidewalk. Ouch. I have roadrash and a pretty large bruise on the right hand as well as scrapes and bruises down the left side of the body. Not too bad except that the bruise and road rash on the hand makes gripping the handlebars a rather painful and sometimes fruitless proposition. I spoke to team technical guru, Nature and he said that we could possibly take the hand completely off and install a carbon fiber one, but there wasn’t any room in the team budget for that. After much consultation it was finally decided that I should ‘drink 2 or 3 Hop Pocket Ales, walk it off and quit being such a sissy.’ The prognosis is good.
The team is coalescing well especially given all the media attention regarding the ‘Arrosox Scandal’ and team member Andy Funchar (see blog entry “team buKit to Ride in 2005 Tour of Hope”, comments section). You may recall he was busted in a credit card scam whereby he attempted to bilk members of he and buKit’s band fanclub and use the money to provide donations to the team buKit Tour of Hope bid. The team buKit and Arrosox Legions (the band’s fanclub organization) issued a joint statement that read in part:
“Both parties regret any undue stress, be it mental or financial, that Mr. Funchar’s actions may have caused to team buKit supporters or Arrosox Fans. We truly appreciate the support, both moral and financial, of the team and the band’s fans. We hope to put this behind us and focus on moving forward with preparations for the Tour.”
In addition it was stated, “Mr. Funchar will remain active in both the team buKit and Arrosox Legions organizations. We believe that although his actions were misguided, his intentions were of a ‘semi-honorable’ nature. Management of both organizations is in negotiations regarding the best way to discipline Mr. Funchar.”
team buKit director, Lyn Fackenthall said, “We still feel that Andy has alot to contribute to the team. I’ve never cared much for the Arrosox or their music, but we feel that it is important that the team have theme music for marketing purposes.”
That all being said, I, the buKit, would just like to say that I’m glad that Andy has accepted this situation and is working to resolve it. I know he has been struggling with alot of issues lately, chief among them a Becks Beer and Chicken Fajita dependency, as well as blatantly right-leaning idealism. I know Andy’s heart is in the right place and he confided in me that he is sorry about the whole ordeal.”I probably should have sought out a more accepted – or at least – more vague method of fundraising, such as a pyramid scheme, or some sort of televangelism.” He told me.
Amen, brother.
Let the healing begin.
Thanks to everyone for their support and/or donations so far.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
team buKit Tour of Hope Roster Announced
JULY 24, 2005, ANNANDALE, VIRGINIA
Today team buKit is proud to announce the offical team roster for the 2005 Tour of Hope:
Lyn Fackenthall: Cancer Survivor. General manager, coach, muse, partner. instigator, dietician, medical consult, Translator. She also cuts buKit’s hair.
Julia Fackenthall: Team documentarian. Artist. Picture Drawer. Wind tunnel engineer for flower basket and sparkly handlebar streamer fabrication.
Emma Fackenthall: In charge of administering ‘RAAAARRRRRR’ dinosaur-type motivational noises. Aerobics coach.
North: Early morning training ride alarm clock.
Jeff LaPensee: Agent. Minister of Hollywood Street Cred.
Francisco Lopez: Official supplier of Cabo Wabo, ‘Dominican’ (ahem) cigars, and Asado.
Andy Funchar: Travel coordinator. Political analyst. Official team guitarist. Composer of ‘buKit’s Theme’.
Aaron ‘Nature’ Uhl: Mechanic/Technical guru and conditioning coach. Offical Microbrew consultant.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
team buKit TO RIDE IN 2005 TOUR OF HOPE
JULY 19, 2005, ANNANDALE, VIRGINIA
Today from his palatial ‘Luxury Town Residence’ in suburban Virgina, moderately recreational cyclist Kent Fackenthall (known in underground circles as ‘the buKit’) announced his intention ride in the Tour of Hope, a 50 mile bike ride on October 8 of this year to benefit cancer research, sponsored by the Lance Armstrong Foundation. The ride begins in Maryland and finishes in Downtown Washington DC where it will meet up with a group of select riders that have ridden all the way across the United States to raise money and awareness for cancer research. Mor information regarding the event is available at http://www.tourofhope.com
At a press conference ‘the buKit’ – as he prefers to be addressed – stated “team buKit and our sponsors are in preparations to undertake this great challenge and hope to put together a squad that can challenge and possibly even win this event.”
When questioned about what he meant by ‘win’ this event, seeing as how it’s a charity ride – buKit seemed confused and after whispered consultation with his handlers, replied, “Um, yea. That’s what I meant.” Then hurriedly ended the press conference and quickly left the room, seemingly arguing with staffers.
A few minutes later, just as the press corps were packing up, the buKit returned and announced that he was ready to continue the press conference stating that he ‘just had to go to the bathroom’ and was now ready to make another statement. A transcript of the remainder of the conference follows:
“I’d just like to say that team buKit is proud to have the chance to participate in this truly special event. As you all know, my wife Lyn is a cancer survivor and this is a cause that is close to my heart. That being said at no time was team buKit interested in any sort of – ahem – ‘winnings’ or ‘spoils’ of the race, and reports that the team had entered for personal financial gain or in an effort to raise money to buy a new road bike have been greatly exaggerated and/or are completely false. I have been told that would have been in bad taste. Thank you, now I will take exactly 3 questions…”
Reporter #1: “Mr. – um – buKit, how much do you hope to raise?
buKit: (raising pinky to lip and effecting a ‘Dr. Evil’ voice replied): “ONE MIIIILLLLLION DOLLLARS!” He then began to laugh outrageously, but tapered off when he realized he was the only one in the room laughing.
At this point, buKit’s wife, Lyn, leaned in and explained: ” Registrants are required to raise a minimum of $500 US in order to be able to ride. We have a mailing list of buKit’s fans and family members and they will be receiving emails shortly detailing how to donate online with a credit card. We may also just send emails to random addresses as well – just for the fun of it. If you don’t want to wait for the email, you can go to buKit’s Tour of Hope page at http://www.active.com/donate/DCride/lafKFacken to donate.”
buKit: “Uh. Yeah. What she said.”
Reporter #2: “Mr. buKitenthall, do you have any plan or specific strategy for training and/or preparation leading up to the event?”
buKit: “It’s buKit. Lowercase ‘b’, capital ‘K’.”
Uncomfortable silence. Shuffling of papers.
buKit: “We’re waiting…”
Reporter #2: “Sorry, um, ‘buKit’. Any plans?”
buKit: ” I will be updating my blog in a daily/semi-daily/haphazardly fashion with news, tips, observations and details of my life commiserating with the cycling and Hollywood elite as well as info pertaining to and regarding my training and preparation. I will probably also talk about my bike and junk – oh – and the stuff I’m going to do to get ready for this race – er – I mean ride. Did I say that already? In addition in a day or two an announcement will be made regarding the full team roster. Yeah. You can view the blog at http://www.bukitzone.blogspot.com.”
Reporter #3: “Do you have any idea what you are doing?”
Confused whispering amongst team buKit.
Anonymous team buKit staffer: “No further questions at this time.”
Reporter #3: “…but, that’s only 2 questions. He said he’d take 3.”
Staffer: ” He was mistaken.”
With that the team rushed from the room. As they exited, buKit was overheard saying, “I think that went quite well.”
the buKit is a native of California who has lived in Canada and now resides and ‘trains’ in Virginia. He has never entered nor completed any sort of organized bike race or event, or any organized event at all for that matter. He works as a production manager at a graphic design firm, thinkdesign, and lives with his wife, Lyn – a thyroid cancer survior, his two daughters, a dog, 2 cats and some fish in Annandale, Virginia. Press inquires and team sponsorship inquires can be sent here.
