Category Archives: Narrative

I recently received an email stating that I had been ‘preapproved for 56245 dollars US for my business.’

It went on, blah blah blah, then at the bottom before the signature for the fake person I’m supposed to contact it says:

The polar bear, a radioactive turn signal, and another bohemian rattlesnake are what made America great! Some polar bear related to a globule takes a peek at a cab driver.

Indeed, these are the things that made America great. All that stuff we learned in school is a waste of time.

I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m confident that this is DEFINITELY a credible offer for cash for my business, I’m sure. No scammer would ever put a sentence like that at the end of a pitch. I’m so gonna make it big now…

Aight. So the round up.

Got the new website launched at work. Done exclusively by yours truly. Yes it’s a mere blatant hack of a WordPress blog (well 3 actually), but at least give me credit for some decent hacking. I’ve purchased a CSS book, I just haven’t got past chapter one yet.

We also saw the release of my first completed book at the new gig, Miller Brittain: When the Stars Threw Down Their Spears. I thought it turned out really well and lots of folks – including the author – dig it as well, so that’s a relief as well as a cool thing. Giddy up.

I did manage to finally finish the tome that is Have Not Been the Same and if you visit the above mentioned site, you’ll see that segues nicely into one of our Fall titles. The overall conclusion after the read: I missed out on some good CanRock in it’s time, and though I’ll try to seek some of it out, I doubt it will be the same. I sort of feel like I was late to the party. Kind of like I did with the whole DC Hardcore thing. I went prog rock way too early, which brings me to…..

The new Rush album, Snakes and Arrows, which I finally got and it’s good. That’s all I’ll say. You either like these guys or you don’t, and nothing I say is going to change your mind, so you’re free to roam the record aisles as you wish, there’s no accounting for taste, I tried to help you out, but perhaps it’s true, ignorance is bliss.

I also picked up the new (well, new to ME, it came out last year) Sam Roberts record, Chemical City. Excellent as well. I highly suggest all my faithful readers in the States check him out.

On a related music note, my boy tDog and I have begun a cross-province musical exchange program whereby we send each other albums of interest from our respective vast musical libraries for the other’s perusal. It could be considered ‘cross-border’ as well, as he’s a true Canuk and I’m a Yankee. I will be trying to convince him that David Hasslehoff is not our most valuable music export, and he will attempt to demonstrate that, though excellent, Neil Young is not the only practicing musician to be born in Canada.

So far I sent him The Old 97’s, Too Far to Care and the Twilight Singers’ Powder Burns. He dug the 97’s, giving it a ‘6 out of 10’ and declaring it ‘backyard, bbq, toss the ball around music’. TheTwilight Singers he hated, stating only an overwhelming sense of shock and the instinct to call off the exchange project all together if I didn’t redeem myself with the next send. Whew. Tough room. Really, though, I’m still batting .500.

He sent me the White Stripes’ Get Behind Me Satan, which I thought was good, however not quite up to all the hype I’d heard about it. I gave it a 6.5 or a 7. Today he sent me Nick Drake’s Five Leaves Left, stating it was ‘without a doubt a 10. [He’d] give it a 14 if [he] could.” I had to agree that it was, indeed, that good, though a bit melancholy – but hey, ol Nick eventually offed himself, so….10? I dunno, I’m thinking 9, maybe 9.25. At this point I don’t think I can give it a 10 just to spite tDog. I mean, he dissed the Twilight Singers, that just don’t play.

On the family tip, Jr. still hasn’t shown his face yet, though, due date isn’t until June 14. Lyn’s ready for him to be out now though. She’s fed up. As I’ve mentioned before, ultrasounds have shown him to be a big boy and though we’ve decided on a name – Colin William – I’ve taken to calling him ‘Big Bubba’ or just ‘Bubba’. I think that’s sufficient and effective. Most folks can’t stand it, which pleases my twisted head even more.

In a weird freak of happenstance, my main man DT read my last post lamenting my lack of percussive instruments and noted that he’s had drums collecting dust in his attic for years now. It’s a crazy world man, someone outta sell tickets.

Weather is finally breaking and I hope to soon begin construction on the pump track. Julia started soloing on her new bigger bike without training wheels 2 days ago and is already pretty much going by herself, so I figure it’s only a matter of time before she’s busting table-topped x-up one-handers over the gap while giving the ‘metal horns’ to the camera, so I gotta get cooking. That reminds me, I gotta get going, it’s getting dark and I’ve got a bit of a covert op planned for up the road at a logging site…there’s a big 3 foot section of log about 26″ in diameter sitting out at the road that is just begging to go in the little ‘skills section’ I wanna get happening in the backyard…sssshhhhh. Pictures to come.

Owt.

:: update ::
Log acquired. Check.

-b

So my folks returned home from their weeklong visit today, twas nice to see them.

We had to laugh when they talked about how cold it was. It’s been above freezing the whole time they were here – and we even got a little snow to complete the postcard picture, but my dad still went out to the Farmer’s Market bundled up like an eskimo. You should have heard him cursing when he slipped in the slush/mush coming out of the liqour store. I think he cursed the whole country. We had a nice visit though and my dad took us out to a great dinner at Brewbakers where we discovered some excellent wine – hence the trip to the liqour store to pick some up and take home with him. If you happen to be by their house in the near future, you should pressure him into opening it up, it should be excellent.

So now, here I am, watching Hockey Night in Canada sipping my brew with a little buzz rolling. I’ve got some wings and cheese sticks cooking in the oven that should be ready mid way through the 2nd period and Coach’s Corner is on now. Life’s pretty good. Toronto’s playing Montreal and both are scraping for a playoffspot and it’s some DAMN FINE hockey. Pretty much whoever looses is going golfing and the winner gets into the playoffs.

The kids are in bed after catching a surprise (gift) airing of some sort of Barbie Fairytopia movie that they actually hadn’t seen yet on tv just before bedtime. Sometimes the planets all come into alignment.

I’ve finally compiled an up to date list of my entire music collection – cause I’m a geek like that – and I’ll be posting that soon. You’ll also notice I’ve finally posted some samples of my work in a portfolio type fashion (link on the right) so hopefully my path to ritches is now well paved. Send me your work, I have no shame.

I got my huge print job at work (the ‘art book’, I won’t say more) signed off and to the printers. I only hope I caught everthing. At this point it’s my life’s opus (to date) and I’m anxious/stressed/paranoid to see it in print.

We’ve got a new project for the next season that is poised to be EXTREMELY cool, however, I really can’t discuss it – although I’m dying to – to keep a lid on things. All I can say is it’s WAY up my alley.

Kids’ birthdays went well. They got good schwag, had fun bowling (they asked when they could go again) and it’s become readily apparent that we need to keep an eye on the Bean with regards to the boys. She invited 5 kids to her party, 3 were boys (and 1st graders – OLDER MEN) and she still proceeded to push them around like toys. I don’t know if I should be ashamed or proud. At least she appeared to be in charge, so I guess that’s a good thing. I’ve got pictures to post, but have to wait until I have the opportunity to do so with something other than my caveman-speed dial up. Stay tuned.

As far as the new baby goes, things are progressing smoothly. Lyn is toatally ready to be done with it, even though she’s still got 2 months left. So far the doctors and ultrasound technicians are telling us that he’s ‘big’ for his age’ and she’s feeling it. Emma told her the other day ‘You’re as big as a house, momma…’ and that about sums it up. I’ve named him Big Bubba for the time being, much to the chagrin of my mom. I think she mentioned being omitted from the will should he be born and that wind up his name…I’ve always enjoyed being controversial…

Once again I’m really making a concerted effort to read more. Currently I’ve two books on the go. One is Have Not Been the Same (which so far, is awesome) and the other is O’Reilly’s Head First HTML. I know what you’re saying, ‘HTML? Doesn’t he know this shit already? He’s got his own web page….’ Truth is, at my finest, I’m really just a hack. I’m copping other peoples stuff and twisting it to my own devious uses. I really want to be able to spew forth my own code – specifically CSS and the like, but I need to get a solid handle on the HTML before I jump to CSS. To all you non web geeks out there, this is the equivalent of getting good on my Atari 2600 to prepare for the Wii, but you gotta start with the basics.

As a result I continue to tinker with this blogs appearance, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. So be it. If you don’t like it, send me a letter. I’ll pass it on to the QA dept.

Owt.