Category Archives: Narrative

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I’m sitting here waiting for a 5 MB stock photo to download over a dial-up connection. Yeah. That’s 45 minutes.

It’s not like I can do any other work on the project. I’m waiting for the damn stock photo.

‘Course I can’t surf the web either. That just grinds everything to a halt.

I’m truly in the wrong line of business to be living this far out in the sticks. Why should I have to switch to a redneck vocation just to live like one? Perhaps that’s the key. One facilitates the other. But which enables which?

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So I’m writing and I don’t know what to write.

As far as the baby update goes, Lyn has Gestational Diabetes (Wikipedia it, I can’t right now, doing so would surely cause time to stop all togheter) which basically means she’s got to rest and do pretty much nothing as well as alter her diet and check blood sugar frequently. A drag to say the least, though at least it’s been good that my mom is here to help out, otherwise her Doctor was gonna hospitalize her and yours truly would have had to bail on work even earlier (insert sounds of pandemonium here). Mom goes back on the 5th of September, so assuming I can clear it with the EI folk with a note from the doctor, that’s my official ‘P’ day – the day I start Parental leave – even though actual baby due date is the 27th. No one – doctors included – really think it will go the distance though.

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4 months leave. Sept. 5 to Jan 5. I haven’t had that much time off in at least 7 or 8 years. Even when I was unceremoniously dumped by Kentville Publishing a few years back, I think I was only off 2 months – and it was in a panic – we had to pack up and move everything to the States in short order. I packed our entire house (Lyn was pregnant then with Emma) into 2 Uhaul trucks myself in 24 hours – in the snow. I look back now and it seems odd, neigh unbelievable, like it was someone else that did it. Nuts.

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4 kids, 4 moves – 2 from one country to another. Thyroid Cancer and 2 throat surgeries. A string of unsatisfying and disappointing jobs. A spontaneous firing. Financial distress.

Giggles. Sillyness. Backyard afternoons. Trips for Ice Cream. 1st steps. 1st days of school. Scary thunderstorms and a crowded bed. A secret family vocabulary that only the 6 of us will ever get. One adult and 3 kids watching tv on a couch made for 2 people. Sprinkler runs.

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. I love my wife, Lyn, and my kids and I know they love me. This renders download times inconsequential. Happy Anniversary to us.

File’s done.

Here in Canada the pundits and news heads are all abuzz with the promise of the news boon that would be a Federal Election.

As such politicians are out beating the street, gladhanding with the common man, working for that vote.

Apparently the Conservative Party of Canada* has decided to go with the old school leaflet route having stuffed my mailbox no less than 5 times in the past 2 weeks with really poorly designed flyers – Xeroxes of flyers even – with scary messages about criminals being set free to molest my children by the Liberals and such or whatever.

Nothing infuriates me more than finding this crap autonomously stuffed in my mailbox. They obviously have no fucking clue what issues are important to me and are going to make no effort to determine what they are.

One issue? The environment. What makes me mad? Hacks like you wasting trees to pour this shit into my mailbox when I don’t want it, and really, only the most basest of the lunkheads would be swayed by this lowest of all marketing schemes. The raver kids only stick their posters on the telephone poles. They are at least smart enough to know that they’re not gonna get me to ‘BootyThump08’ and probably wouldn’t want me there even if I showed.

Not only are you pissing me off with this waste of both natural resources AND my own tax dollars, but you’re insulting my intelligence at the same time. A double whammy. You advance to the idiot round.

And what do you get there?

You get to try and explain how I – or dare I say, even anyone in your own party – should take you seriously when we face very real environmental and resource problems and you flagrantly employ such tactics while at the same time – I’m sure – espousing your concern for said problems.

I realize it’s your legal right to use the mail this way. This doesn’t mean it’s morally sound. The beaten path is easy. The quickest, cheapest way is the copout. Doing the right thing is hard. That’s why so many people don’t.

You should be setting an example. Leading the way. Setting the bar. Instead, I’ve got no respect for you. If you wanted to, you could find a way to reach me by another means. You should be setting the trends, not following them. Think about the wealth of resources available – the web, social media etc etc. I mean I hate spam, but I think it’s more defensable than this crap.

Instead, I wouldn’t be surprised to find another one of these in my mailbox tomorrow, demonstrating only one thing to me – that really you don’t give a damn what I think. And you want me to call YOU my political party?

Fuck you.

*Note: This is not a Conservative party bash. It’s a stupid politician bash. I’d be equally pissed if any other party, mine or otherwise, randomly leafletted me – but so far no one has. Yet. But I won’t hold my breath. I have a bad habit of lumping all you politicians into one lot, regardless of party affiliation.

I’m getting ready to go to bed now at a decent hour, even though I’ve a ton of work to do and didn’t do it yet.

That was a really lousy sentence.

Colin was up half the night last night with hurting teeths. No fun. Dad wants some sleep.

It occured to me today on the bike ride home that maybe, when the new baby is born and I start parental leave, I’ll just drop off the ol social media/internet grid for 3 months. I mean as fun as it is, it does require a bit of maintenance.

I think I’ll just play with the kids, ride my bike, watch hockey and do the 437 things that need doing around the house.

Thing 1: I got my 3 cords of firewood dumped today. Guess I know what I’m doin’ this weekend.